


Scream To The Sky

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Asexual Relationship, Beating, Caring Castiel, Castration, Clueless Dean, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, John Winchester Tries, Master/Slave, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Sam Winchester, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Slave Sam, Slavery, Torture, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 13:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12366360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: Sam grew up as a slave. He learned many things when he was a slave. He learned not to dream or hope. He learned not to scream and to pretend. His newest master insists that he isn't a slave and wants to be called Dad. Sam isn't sure what to make of this strange new master.*Warning. This story doesn't romanize slavery. It is written from Sam's point of view and focuses on how Sam views the world. He's been a victim of rape and torture from a very young age. Dean and Castiel's relationship is minor in this story and it isn't something Sam fully understands or feels comfortable inquiring about.*





	Scream To The Sky

Sometimes, the most beautiful moments are the ones most people miss. The way the sun crested the sky right before the sun rose was beautiful. Sam liked to watch the sunrise and listen as nature woke up each morning. It was his small moment of freedom. It was a little piece of his life no one knew about. It wasn’t something he got to do all of the time. Only when he was in trouble and strung up outside overnight. He didn’t do this often because of the beating, but sometimes, the beauty of a sunrise was worth it.

Sometimes, Sam would tell himself those moments were the closest he would ever get to happiness or freedom. Sometimes, he imagined playing like the free children. Sometimes, he imagined having someone who loved him. Sometimes, it was nice to pretend. The reality was quite different. Sam was a slave since he was a baby. He never knew his parents. He knew that his parents must not have wanted him because they sold him into slavery. It left an emptiness inside of Sam to know that no one loved him. Over time, Sam learned that love was for the free. Family was for the free. Laughter and joy were for the free. Happiness was for the free.

Sam’s life as a slave was not an easy one. Though, some slaves may argue with him on that point. He had gone through many masters in his life. They each wanted to touch him and hurt him in ways he didn’t like to think about. His first memories were of touching and a warm breath on his neck. Those memories were the first of many memories. Touching sounded easy but sometimes it hurt. Sometimes, it made him scream. Sometimes, it made him wish he had a mother or a father to save him like the free children did.

Over time, Sam learned not to scream when someone raped him. He learned it wasn’t rape because he didn’t own his body. He learned how to shut out the touch. He learned how to act like he liked it so he wouldn’t get beaten. He learned a lot of things about sex and the idea that free people used sex to express love confused Sam. Sex had always been a way to control him.

As with all things, phases in life comes to an end. Sam wasn’t sure of his age, but he was taller than his latest master and because of that he was sent to an auction. This was his first time at an auction. All of his prior sales had been through private means. The auction house was loud and it smelled like decay and urine. Many of the slaves looked close to death. Many of the slaves looked like him. Some of them weren’t broken but Sam knew they would break. Everyone breaks. He did many years ago.

Sam was startled out of his thoughts when his cell door opened a free woman with short black hair called out, “0583.” Sam stood and walked over the woman. He held out his hands to be cuffed but she just shook her head and said kindly, “Follow me, Sam.”

Obediently Sam followed the woman into an office. He was given clothing to wear which felt funny against his skin. She had to help him get dressed because he didn’t know how. It made him feel stupid and foolish, but he didn’t have a memory of wearing clothes. Clothes were for free people. After he was dressed, she pushed him to sit down in a chair which he did but it left him with a feeling of unease.

There was a silence in the room while the woman looked through the file. Sam had a sinking feeling in his gut. He wondered what she had to tell him and he wondered why she would tell a stupid slave anything. He wondered why she would treat a slave with such kindness. Finally, the woman spoke softly to him, “We run every slave’s DNA through the computer if the registration number doesn’t make sense. Based on your registration number, you should be over 100 years old and that isn’t possible. Sam, you’re not a slave.”

Sam stared at the table and didn’t say a word. He didn’t trust his voice. He didn’t trust that this wasn’t some sort of sick trick. He didn’t trust any of it. He thought that maybe this woman was his new master and she was using this to taunt him. The idea of being free made Sam want to cry and it also scared him. Sam didn’t know how to be free. He didn’t know the feelings free people had. He didn’t understand what the plastic cards kept in pockets were for. He didn’t understand the free world.

The woman took a deep breath and said carefully, “When you were a baby, you were kidnapped from your home. Your father and brother have been looking for you ever since. I called them. Your father is on his way to take you home.” Sam didn’t say anything but he saw the lady nod then a hand was on his neck cutting off his collar. He watched it drop to the table. He kept his hands curled under the table because he knew not to touch his collar. He could only hope that they gave him a new collar before he left this place.

++

Much to Sam’s dismay, a new collar wasn’t given prior to him leaving the auction house. He was hugged tightly by a strange man that cried. Sam didn’t understand why the man cried. He wasn’t sure how to please his new master that insisted he was Dad. Sam never had a father before. He didn’t know what a father did. All he knew was this master was bizarre. He never had a master that tried to trick him into believing he was free before. He never had a master that insisted he wears clothes and not kneel on the floor.

Two other men showed up as his new master cooked dinner. One of the men said he was his brother and the other was his brother’s husband. Sam wondered if for them sex was about love. He glanced at their faces briefly when he thought they weren’t looking. The one that claimed to be his brother didn’t look like him. The man looked like one of those men from porn. The husband looked much the same. Sam felt a knot in his stomach because somehow being played with like this made it so much worse. These people were cruel, in Sam’s opinion, they were just making him believe that he had a family so they could rape him. Sam corrected himself mentally. He couldn’t be raped. He was a slave. He didn’t want another beating to remind himself of that.

The other men weren’t what made dinner so confusing though. It was dinner. His new master insisted that he sit at the table which Sam obeyed. Never in his life had he ever had food set in front of him at the table. He watched as the other men and his new master started eating. Sam knew better than to eat in front of free people. His new master said kindly, “It is okay, Sammy. You can eat.”

Sam suppressed a sigh. He kept his hands curled up under the table and lowered his head to his food. He started to eat carefully. He didn’t want to make a mess on his face or the strange clothes his master forced him to wear. It wasn’t until he was a few bites in he realized no one else was eating. Sam felt like a stupid slave for falling for this trick. He knew he’d be punished. He didn’t want to get beaten.

The man that claimed to be his brother said nervously, “Sammy, you can use silverware.” Sam leaned up and looked at the silverware next to his plate. He had never used such things before. Sam glanced at his new master for approval. His strange master had tears in his eyes but nodded approval. Sam pulled his hands out from under the table and he uncurled his hands to touch the silverware. The brother growled, “What the fuck happened to your fingers?”

Sam withdrew his hands and hid them back under the table. He shook as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Sir. I’m sorry, Master. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Sam heard a chair scrape against the wooden floor then the husband sat down next to him. He had a very deep and soothing voice, “It is okay, Sam. Your brother isn’t angry with you and you’ve done nothing wrong. Can you take a deep breath for me?” Sam did. “Good boy, now release it.” Sam obeyed quietly. He continued to listen to the man help him breathe. The man never touched him. The man never hurt him.

Sam curled and uncurled his hands under the table. Today was so confusing, he didn’t understand what was going on. He didn’t understand this trick. He didn’t like it. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he saw the teardrops hit the table. The brother asked again nicer this time, “What happened to your hands, Sam?”

His new master sounded angry when he said, “Dean.”

The husband spoke so Sam didn’t have to. “He had his fingertips removed. The tips were removed to the first joint. I doubt it was done by his choice. Dean, you know what those monsters did to your brother, he had no control over. None of that is his fault. My brother owns slaves. Slaves aren’t allowed things like clothes or to eat with their hands. They aren’t allowed to go out without a collar. I don’t think Sam understands he isn’t a slave anymore. I don’t think he understands that he is free and surrounded by people that love him unconditionally.” Sam glanced up at the husband with those words. He held eye contact and the man said calmly, “Yes Sam, you are loved.”

Sam looked away in shame. His new master cleared his throat and said calmly, “I’m sorry, Sam. This is all too much for you. I do love you. I never stopped looking for you. Please, we need to eat.”

Sam moved his hands back up to the table. This time, the husband picked up Sam’s fork and positioned it in Sam’s hand. The husband helped him to hold it steady as he took his first few bites. Sam’s hand shook with each bite but by the end of dinner, he was able to hold a fork on his own. The husband had to cut up some of his food into little bites for him, but Sam didn’t mind.

He wanted to hold on to this forever. Even if they all raped him after this, at least, Sam would have had one meal where he ate like a free person.

++

The rape Sam expected never came. Rather, Sam found himself with a family. He had a free person’s bedroom. He had clothing, blankets, pillows, and even a bed. He hadn’t been beaten in over a week. He spent his days at an auto repair shop which his master… his father owns. Sam never spoke to anyone. He merely watched.

Then one day a Bentley drove into the shop. Sam started to shake when a familiar face got out of the car. The man had icy blue eyes. There were new wrinkles on his face but the ice inside his soul remained. The man was one of his former masters. Sam could feel his heart beating in his chest. In Sam’s time of being treated like a free person, he forgot to get off the chair he was sitting on.

The man punched him hard in the face and Sam fell off the chair. He didn’t fight back as the man started to beat. His former master only got in a few shots before he was dragged off screaming, “That slave isn’t wearing his collar. He’s an escapee. I will have you all jailed for hiding him.”

Somehow Sam thought this was the real end game. He had a taste of freedom. He had a taste of love and now it would all be ripped away. Only that wasn’t what happened. His father stepped up to his former master and sneered, “How do you know Sam?”

The man struggled in the arms of the two shop workers holding him. He yelled, “I owned that piece of shit. Once puberty started he got too old for me so I sold him to a friend. My friend always showed off pictures of the bitch. You got yourself a high dollar sex slave. Why do you have him acting like a free person? Do you know how much training he had to make him docile and kill any thought of ever being free?”

Sam stared in shock as his father punched his former master. Sam curled up against the wall and tugged his legs up against his chest. He felt tears start to fall from his face. His father yelled back at the man, “Sam isn’t a slave. Sam was never a slave, you sick fuck. He was kidnapped. He is my son.”

His former master spits blood in his father’s face and grinned, “Well then, you should know your son moans like a whore if you pound him right. He doesn’t orgasm, of course, no one wants a slave with sticky bits.”

Sam shook as the shop workers eyed him and sirens rang out in the distance.

++

It was about a week after his father beat his former master that Sam realized this wasn’t a sick trick and he was, in fact, free. It took another month before he could eat without shaking. It took two months before he could read children’s books without help. There were other things he learned too. He learned what money was. He learned how to count and tell time. He felt like his head was going to explode someday but it was okay.

Nights were always hard for him. Some found he couldn’t sleep in the free person’s bed. Instead, he slept inside a nest of blankets hidden away in his closet. He felt safe there. His father never said anything about but he was certain the man knew.

His relationship with his brother, Dean, was challenging. He didn’t understand having a brother. His brother was over today and declared, “Sammy, we need to get you laid.”

Sam still wasn’t comfortable speaking a lot but he forced himself to say, “I don’t want to have sex.”

Dean nudged him and Sam almost cried. It scared him to say no. When Dean nudged him, he was afraid that he would be beaten or forced. Sometimes, the way Dean talked about sex made Sam wonder if he was supposed to have sex with his brother. Sam really wasn’t sure on the social protocol for sexual relationships among family members for free people. Sam had seen twins have sex plenty of times, so he wasn’t sure. Dean teased, “Oh come on, Sammy. You’re in your prime. You’re going to get blue balls.”

Sam didn’t understand the reference. He asked Dean as he curled up his hands, “What do blue balls mean?”

Dean rolled his eyes and said, “You’re telling me that you’ve never had a master not let you orgasm? If you don’t orgasm for a while, your balls will hurt and turn blue. Well, maybe not blue but it will hurt like a bitch.”

It clicked for Sam in that moment. “Oh.”

Dean grinned, “Yeah oh, so what do you like ladies or gentlemen?”

Sam shook his head and said slowly, “Dean, I don’t have the problem you speak of. When I was a child, I was had a smoothing procedure. I don’t know what terms free people use exactly, but the parts they removed my former masters called balls and dick.”

Dean looked a little sick at that omission. Sam watched Dean curl and uncurl his hand, much the same way Sam did when he wanted to hide that he didn’t have fingertips. Dean let out a slow breath and said, “I am so sorry, Sammy. You… No one deserves that.”

Sam shrugged, “I didn’t own my body at the time. A master can change his property in any way he sees fit.”

Dean’s voice cracked, “So how old were you?”

Sam looked at Dean for a moment then he shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t know how old I am now. I was small though.”

A couple tears fell down Dean’s face, “You’re 19. You’re fingers. Do you know when that happened?”

Sam glanced down at his fingers and whispered, “It was after the smoothing. I hurt and I was afraid. I didn’t understand. Master tried to use me what he bought me for and I struggled. I scratched him so he had me declawed. It was punishment and I deserved it.”

Dean sobbed quietly next to him, “You didn’t deserve that, Sammy. I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

Sam didn’t know what to say to that. No one ever protected him. No one ever cared about a slave. Sometimes being loved came with complications. Sam couldn’t understand why Dean would cry about what his former masters did to him.

++

A year went by quickly for Sam. He found out things about himself. He found out that he liked to read. He found out that he liked to walk around at night and get coffee from a corner shop. He liked to read the latest book his father bought him at night. Sometimes, he would read a few pages at the coffee shop. Other times, he would read inside his closet with a book light Castiel bought him for his birthday.

He listened to the jingle of bells above the door to the coffee shop. He walked in and frowned. The barista was training a slave. The slave was wearing clothes which were odd. The golden-eyed man who owned the shop smiled at him. “Sammykins, do you want your usual?”

Sam shook his head no and said quietly, “No, I changed my mind. Thank you though.”

Gabriel ran out from behind the counter and said quietly, “Sam wait. It’s not what you think.”

Sam shook his head and said quietly, “When I was kidnapped, I was sold into slavery. I can’t be around that anymore.”

Gabriel sighed, “She’s my sister. She sold herself into slavery so I could open this coffee shop. I didn’t know. I thought she died and left me money. When I found out years later, I had the money in savings to buy her so I did.”

Sam nodded in understanding. He still couldn’t be around this. “I don’t understand.”

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and said with frustration, “You’re the most handsome man that comes into my coffee shop. I brought my sister here to impress you because I knew you were a slave and I admire your strength. I want to go on a date with you and see where it goes.”

Sam understood now. Part of having coffee every evening involved sex. He said bluntly, “So you want to have sex. I apologize. I have trouble with free people things. I didn’t realize coffee involved sex if I paid with coins.”

Gabriel laughed, “It doesn’t, Sam. We might have sex later on but not on a first date. This is just something to start a relationship to see if we like each other.”

Sam tilted his head to the side and said slowly, “I don’t understand. I don’t understand how love and sex work together.”

Gabriel smiled, “Please give me a chance.”

Sam smiled as he looked at Gabriel. He had never been given a choice before. Still, he didn’t know if he wanted what Gabriel offered. Sam learned over his time as a free person that he wasn’t like other free people. It wasn’t just the way he viewed the world. It wasn’t just the way he slept or the way he walked. It was the things that were done to his body. It was the way he talked. It was the weariness in his eyes. Even with having freedom, Sam felt lost in the world and that emptiness he felt inside that he thought would be filled with a family that loved him didn’t.

Sam shook his head no to Gabriel and whispered, “I am sorry. I can’t be what you want me to be. My mind and my action may be free now but I still have the body of a slave. No law or amends can free me from this body.”

Gabriel sighed, “Sam, you don’t have the body of a slave. You’re free. I’m free. My sister will be free someday.” Gabriel touched Sam’s chest which made Sam flinch, “You're still free in here. Why do you think your body isn’t free?”

Sam uncurled his right hand in front of them. “So many things that you take for granted.”

Gabriel dragged Sam over to a corner booth and sat down. He said firmly, “I don’t care that some sadistic asshole chopped off your fingertips. Those fingers are still free. They still allow you to eat as a free man. They allow you write. They allow you to turn the pages of those books you love. Fingertips or not, your hands are still free.”

Sam stared at his fingers. He never viewed it like that. He always viewed it as a defect. He curled and uncurled his hand. Finally, he left it open on the table. He could see for the first time that part of his body was free. Still, that didn’t mean the rest of his body was free. He whispered out, “I had the smoothing procedure too. I look different than other men.”

Gabriel put his hand on top of Sam’s. He said gently, “Sam, what is in your pants doesn’t matter to me. I am sure that procedure hurt but if you hold yourself back from living life then they still won. You’re still a slave in your heart and you’re a beautiful soul.”

Sam pulled his hand away slowly. He looked at it once more before curling it again so he could feel like a free person. Sam tried not to cry as he whispered, “I doubt my soul is beautiful. I looked up religions. Different ones, but I am not pure. I am damned.”

Gabriel let out a slow breath, “Sam, you’re not damned. If anyone is damned it is the people who hurt you. What other people force you to do. How other people hurt you. None of that determines your worth to God and if it does then that isn’t a God I want to worship.”

Sam smiled a little at that. He didn’t really know why he opened up to Gabriel like this. He said quietly, “I know. My dad says the same thing. It isn’t my worry of damnation that makes me unsure about a relationship. I don’t have sexual urges. I don’t want to have to do those things again. I mean, I can if I had to but I don’t want that.”

Gabriel chuckled, “Sammy, I’m asexual.” He shook his head and wiped his eyes. “I thought you would be the one wanting sex and I wouldn’t be able to perform.”

Sam moved his hand under the table and said quietly, “I don’t understand.”

Gabriel stopped laughing, “I don’t have an interest in sex. I want physical closeness without the sex and all the other stuff that goes into a relationship.”

Sam nodded and looked into Gabriel’s eyes. He didn’t really know how that would work. He would have to ask Dean and his dad. Sam ran his hand over the back of his neck and said, “I think I can do that.” Sam paused and added, “But my brother is a little protective. He’s going to want to meet you.”

Gabriel shrugged, “He can be our chaperone.”

Sam smiled slightly. He wasn’t sure what a chaperone was but he had hope in his heart. He wondered if this would help fill his emptiness. He wondered if he would ever feel free. All Sam knew was that being free was harder than being a slave. He had choices and sometimes wrong choices were made. He just hoped that he made the right choice.

++

Sam stood on top of the ruins of an ancient city in Mexico. It was breathtaking. He whispered out, “People lived here.”

Gabriel walked up behind him. He placed his hands on Sam’s hips and said calmly, “Yes, they did.”

Sam glanced around, “I wonder if they were happy.”

Gabriel shrugged as he rested his head between Sam’s shoulder blades, “Some of them, sure. All of them, I doubt it. I think that many of them had the same dreams as us. I really don’t think we are all that different even after all these centuries.”

Sam stared at a large temple and said, “I read that they had slaves. Do you think the slaves are free now or do you think they are still slaves even in death?” Sometimes, Sam wondered if after he died if people could still tell he was a slave. He figured they could even when was just bones because he didn’t have fingertips.

Gabriel hummed, “Death is the great equalizer.”

Sam turned around and faced Gabriel. He rested his head against the shorter man’s head. “Thank you for taking me here.”

Gabriel smiled slightly, “It is our honeymoon, Sammy. Nothing says romance like an abandoned city that had a temple for human sacrifices.” Sam knew Gabriel was just placating his interest in history, but he appreciated this moment.

Sam laced his fingers through Gabriel’s. He looked around and stared up at the sky. He whispered, “It is perfect. Their decedents are free.” Sam hoped that the people who lived and died here could feel free in death. He hoped they found peace.

Gabriel whispered back, “And you’re free.”

Sam let a couple tears fall down his face. Somehow, being on top of a ruined city gave him some clarity. He still had trouble understanding things, even five years later. The emptiness never went away, not fully at least. His life was better than he could have ever hoped for. He could be touched now without zoning out. He could feel love and anger. He could be free. He could be free. Sam screamed to the sky as he uncurled his hand, “I’m free.” 

 


End file.
